So this blog hasn't turned out the way I thought. I was really excited to keep a daily journal but, as with most resolutions, I have trouble keeping the promises I make to myself. I think I have too high of expectations. I expect too much out of my free time, my productivity, my memory, everything.
I expect that when I sit down to write a paper I will knock out the most eloquent piece of literature the professor has ever seen while managing to keep my nose out of Facebook, Pinterest or Tumblr. Yea, right!
I expect that when I make dinner, my pizza is going to be so innovative and delicious the chef's from Food Network are going to come knocking at my door for the recipe. Did you know I'm a perfect mess and can't help but to spill a little bit of everything while I cook? Oh, and I can't make anything without a recipe but I rarely follow all of the instructions. Want to know how many times that works out for me? Not many!
I expect that when I get a paycheck in the mail, I will see the amount equal to the amount of pain it caused me to stand on the concrete floor all day, running back and forth from the back room to fetch Willow Tree Figurines from the top most shelf. It never is. I also expect that paycheck, once in my bank account to continuously multiply so I can buy as many clothes and heels as I desire! FYI, it doesn't work like that, who'd of thunk it!
I expect that when I dress up and put all my fancy make-up on, all the boys' head will turn and girls will be green with envy. Also, doesn't work like that. I consider myself lucky when I get my boyfriend to tell me how beautiful I look.
I guess that, because I expect so much, it hurts more when my expectations don't come to fruition. Don't get me wrong, I don't get all mopey and depressed when the Food Network chefs don't come begging for my egg sandwich recipe. But, not gonna lie, it does sting a little to watch that money flow out of my bank account without multiplying.
I don't mean to give up this blog, really I don't. I want to write every night, I don't particularly care what about, I just feel like I have so much to share and say and not enough time to share it! Not like my life is anything all that interesting at the moment- paper after paper after paper. Oh the life of a grad student!